I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
