I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
