He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
