then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
