I just threw up on my dentist
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
