he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
