this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
