i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
