never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
