i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
