The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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