Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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