Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
