so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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