Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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