Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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