Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
