i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
