We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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