did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
