How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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