yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
