it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
