I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize