I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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