He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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