I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
