if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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