I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
