Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
do nipples grow back?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
