i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
