In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
