She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
