I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
