who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He passed out mid-signature
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize