totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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