I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
