Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
