he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
