Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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