Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
