You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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