She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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