Screwed.edu
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
