i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
