We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
