Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
