Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
