Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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