Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
