What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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