Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
