butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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