remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So much rum. So many feels.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
