dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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