It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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