Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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