its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
