I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
