Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have aggressive nipples.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
