I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
