I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Nicole vs. Life
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
