she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
