Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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